The Problem With New Year Resolutions

Welcome to 2022! It is hard to believe the New Year holiday has already come and gone. As with every new year, the buzzword of the month is “resolution”; you may have already been asked by friends or family “What is your New Year resolution for 2022?”
 
January brings an opportunity to start a new year with new desires, new plans, and yes, new “resolutions.” You now have 365 days to write 12 chapters of your life, and this can seem overwhelming with possibilities. The word resolution means “to do something or not to do something” and while it is a versatile word, the idea of a “New Year resolution” can sometimes be more harmful than helpful. According to a study published in 2016, 50% of people who made a New Year resolution failed at their resolution after three months.
 
In the United States, the three most common resolutions are to lose weight, exercise more, and save more money. If you subscribe to social media or watch television, you are likely being bombarded by ads for gym memberships and weight loss programs. They say the best time of year to own a gym is January, after all. Society caters to the idea of resolutions as a time to “be a new you” and really make some positive changes in your lifestyle. While good intentioned, there are deeper psychological reasons why 50% of resolutions fail.
 
Perhaps one of the most apparent reasons why resolutions fail is the motivation behind the resolution. Why are you setting this goal? There are two types of goals to discuss here – extrinsic and intrinsic goals. Extrinsic goals are the ones we buy into because family, friends, and society agree they are good goals to have. The common resolutions like weight loss, diet, and exercise are often extrinsic – society defines what a healthy weight and diet should look like. They appeal to our need to fit in with social norms and ideals (hence those annoying gym membership commercials with picture perfect models). Of course, being at a healthy weight and eating well are important generally speaking, but if the resolution is set to match a societal expectation, individual failure is almost certainly inevitable. Extrinsic resolutions are frequently things we feel we should do – not what we want to do deep down. 
 
On the other hand, intrinsic goals are ones that “reflect our inner selves and truest aspirations.” These types of goals are more personal and may have been building over time. Intrinsic goals are often not as flashy, either. While things like weight loss and muscle gain are visible to others, intrinsic goals that lead to real change may be only notable by you. Perhaps these are deeper psychological changes that need to be prioritized through individual choice, without the influence of other’s opinions. When we establish intrinsic goals, we also build resilience. Intrinsic goals are more resilient to failure because we are the ones in control. When we fail at an extrinsic goal, we can place blame on external factors. If we fail at an intrinsic goal, we have only ourselves to hold accountable.
 
Another reason why most resolutions fail by springtime is due to the timeline in which we set our resolutions. Statements such as “I will lose 15 pounds in 30 days” or “I will save an extra $500 per month” sound great on paper but may not be realistic. If the most weight you have ever lost at a given time was 5 pounds, or your credit card payments are regularly $500 more than you expected, you will probably fail at your resolution by February. We tend to think that setting a resolution gives us a magic wand to drastically change from who we were last year. Particularly around the New Year holiday, we psyche ourselves up for lofty goals compared to other times of the year. Instead of setting goals through a rose-colored perspective, ask yourself if the goal is realistically attainable. Perhaps remove the timeline altogether or shrink the goal down to a more digestible size. Statements like “I will lose 15 pounds” or “I will try to save an extra $100 each month” are still aiming at the same resolution but provide flexibility.
 
Speaking of flexibility, another reason resolutions often fail is due to the nature of their rigidity. Similar to the timeline issue, setting resolutions with a finite end may lead to inevitable disappointment. Take the statement “I will lose 15 pounds in 30 days.” What happens when you reach day 30 and you only lost 8 pounds? Technically, you failed your resolution because you did not meet the timeline. Setting yourself up to be flexible in your resolution is critical. By day 30, you are already halfway to your goal – so why not take another 30 days to meet the goal? Allow flexibility and accept that life circumstances can alter the timeline of a goal.
 
With these ideas in mind, what are some ways to make a goal for 2022 and truly succeed?
 
Write the goal down
 
Studies suggest that thinking about a goal is not as powerful as writing it down. Grab a pen and sticky note and literally stick your goal in a place where you will read it multiple times per day. Or write down individual steps to take each day that hold you accountable. Sign up for a workout class ahead of time or write out a healthy grocery list before going into the store to help you stay on track. These intentional, daily habits lead to a larger overall change.
 
Differentiate between short-term and long-term goals
 
Set up realistic and appropriate timelines for your resolution. Depending upon your goal, there may be small but necessary steps that simply take more time than we’d like. Make sure you possess the skills to achieve your goal and pushing goals out to the long term is not something to be ashamed of.
 
Establish analogous goals 
 
If you have thought of more than one resolution this year, make sure they play well together. For example, if your goal is to lose weight and save more money, perhaps buying an expensive gym membership isn’t the best solution. While you may achieve one goal, the other one is likely to fail. Instead, establish goals that work together and as you progress in one area, you progress in the other as well.
 
Expect setbacks
 
Unfortunately, normal life can intrude on our resolutions. Even the most thought-out and well-planned goals can be impacted by a few days of illness or an unexpected bill. Acknowledging the possibility of setbacks speaks to the idea of flexibility mentioned earlier – a setback does not immediately mean your resolution failed. Pick up where you left off and keep moving in the direction of your goal.
 
Reward progress
 
Sometimes we can be so wrapped up in the fantasy of the end goal that we forget to relish in the small steps. Remember that big changes contain consistent and persistent work and often, real change comes from an adjustment of small, daily habits. If all you had time for today was a walk around the block instead of an hour-long gym session, you still exercised for the day which continues to lead to a weight loss goal. All-or-nothing thinking is a resolution killer.
 
Instead of setting a 2022 New Year resolution, what are some intrinsic goals you would like to work toward this year? Perhaps the goal is fitness or health related, or maybe the goal is something more spiritual or psychologically rooted. Whatever your desires are for this year, you have the power to set change in motion. If you find yourself needing some extra guidance with intrinsic goal setting, the counselors at the practice of Hilary Morris would be delighted to facilitate you along your journey. As a current patient of ours, please bring up ideas for 2022 goals in your sessions. If you would like to establish yourself as a patient with our practice, please contact us on our website!